The insides of my pockets are getting cold, oh
Something fierce
something fiercer
Colliding with your finiteness
colliding with your infiniteness.
I was born to be on a road,
skipping gravel,
2 to 10 toes,
gripping travel
firmly on the Earth surface.
Don't stop, my mind, from racing out of the Cosmos.
thousand, quadrillion
billion
octillion, decillion
hundred, thousand, quadrillion, decillion
0, 1, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 70, 80, 90, hundred, sextillion, septillion, decillion
4, 5, 14, 15, 40, 50
8, 18, 80
3, 8, 13, 18, 30, 80, hundred, thousand
5, 6, 8, 9, 13, 15, 16, 18, 19, 30, 50, 80, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion, decillion
-
-
11, 12, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion, decillion
million
7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, thousand, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion, decillion
0, 1, 2, 4, 14, 40, thousand, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion, decillion
septillion
quadrillion, quintillion
0, 3, 4, 30, 40, hundred, trillion, quadrillion
6, 7, 16, 17, 60, 70, thousand, sextillion, septillion
2, 3, 8, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, thousand, quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion
4, 14, hundred, thousand, quadrillion, quintillion
5, 7, 11, 12
2, 12, 20
6, 16, 60, sextillion
20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90
0
Talk thru sunset
The blue interior eyes black core neck bites and feeling the colorist movement thru veins capillaries red noses light pulses cannot see windows and hidden people
my mom's washing dishes
i ate two hersey kisses
we are about to china beach season 2 episode 5, women in white
slick like carcinogen evening or oil on driveways [Downsizing tran] and porches, vietnamese across lawns and suburb roads without sidewalks, oaks taller than ten people
breathing too deeply to be outside and unaware of the air
No dog plays no throws
no going to buy fireworks a quarter mile away from wooden cask fire laden burdened people
questions to and fro
the china beach theme plays on the looping menu screen
" the mirror of my mind "
reflections of . .
time . . . .
look back
feel specks of light inside going foeveer . . . the end
Digestion Profit Rank
4 thousand
dry on your cheek
skillessly
brittania season 2 episode 7 lake of tears butterfly
moving vehicle violences to the psyche and soul of Land
, Lamb
Reflections of Eternity
Hi
i love people who exist
it's very difficult to exist
life is so cool, even when I knew I never had one
i love them so much
o my god, they're so beautiful
i get tipsy , saint brendan's irish cream
i almost want to throw up, when i often eat too much
then move around and bend over
the sun almost goes down
and i need the internet
Krisha just dropped the Turkey
First Reformed was on earlier, bfore we wnt to Austin today
i got excited to see it
it comes on at 7, i set it to record
i just replied to Aaron
he texted a link to the Texas Woodwooking Festival, in April
i asked if he is going to go
I am happy
i think
Sleep Craft
I am still asleep
okay
i am still asleep
A band performs, it's Satan's Power
on live morning networks
song: Comfort and Joy
" Leave us,
corovorviurs.
Leave us,
cornonrviores.
Oh the sunny day will never come back today.
Oh you will never know how we hurt ourselves.
Satan begone, fill our shoes with stockings. "
Footage of Never
Skiing with Never
Directions from elsewhere:
Since I-70 is the most traveled route, travelers on other routes must be in it for the scenery. We’d advise you to follow your nav system a bit, and your heart more.
Poem Fail
Heart explodes and stops
Truncated Belch
Shared Love
jjj j
Smooth Chicken Breakfast
Littles pillow.
" i'm a lonely german
a lonely german from
Prague. "
gimme something to say
later in the days
Give them to you
https://open.spotify.com/track/7H0ya83CMmgFcOhw0UB6ow
Space Song - Beach House
Me and the Hives and Benedict Wong stand in the Sam's Club gas station parking lot at Southpark Meadows looking at the Great Conjunction of 2020, and darkness falls.
Bobby Lee and Santo do a 3 way dick suck as the internet wires crackle harmlessly
Hypnotically
Loudly our screams cherish children and warmly our hearts overheat.
We melt likely homely candles forgotten
No one ever home anymore
No need to hope anymore
Drinking till blurrs became blurry
Memories forget themselves
All is a whirl
And it whirls
And is never still
And we are never us anymore
You and I are everything
So what is the same?
No needs
No nothing
At All.
" You Take You with You ...
You Are Always with You "
al Anon
Nar anon
" From the Bottom of My Happy Heart "
sleep with friends
eternal rest
don't try anymore
if i ever was
anyone
i was
They save us
i sing 'Em
it's okay
the end . . . .
Klaus is really good.
special
Rudy Jules
Julianna tito niece
bad friend
hugs you
says sorry
and i'm here to help
walks thru
faed to yellow
career hyphen harpoon
hello periphery
gremlin goblin gobble ream freak forget
hey, music terror begone creamate bushes goon being gone
Going home night toodle, muck neptune tree munch weeble velo drone velcro person
Venus quacks up the rest of the yolo dumb washers track the box crumb bacon crackers nubby dream tastes bad for loving human leaf hucksters
Mars leaves remember forever. No one makes up the young yellow Hell of property people.
Saturn prostate prostrate growing green blue fuzz on the rapist sheets of frozen steaks 50 feet maneuvering lost little feelings inside of greg no one, at home below and waking up towards dear time.
Earth daemons instill juice very gay and gray jump onto umbrella sex careening Jericho left the last prophet to Jerusalem sucking up the desert
pluto weiners dose the light
grains
popping
hype
to seem
flex heme
the Park at 4:30
You begin him and she goes
Put the 2nd on your schedule, or 2 days, and take them over there, a 15 year old person, 49 year old, pants, diapers, towels, cushions, gas, tires
open doors, 69 degree rooms, zero light, zero dark
3rd left
10 minutes,
leave again
bye,
hi, i'm still back here
ok, hello, nice
see ya. i see ya.
i've been watching bad friends. I watched the new ones the past few weeks, and a couple days ago i started at episode 1 and just finished 3.
they're pretty funny.
my mom bought 10 things
2 pair of eddie bauer lounge pants
i'm wearing the black
they're pretty nice
i drank half the bottle of malbec
it's pretty good
i'm listening to episode 4
bobby lee's dead dad, crying mother
photographs and hysterical laughing
we've had lots of snacks and candy
we saw doug, nat, bridge and ed before costco
it went pretty well
i ate tamales and chili and onion
and half a mini rum cake
my face is pretty fat
and the rest of me
that was yesterday. this morning in bed i asked myself what's today? maybe i asked what day is it? oh ya, it's christmas eve
i'm gonna watch the rest of gmm now
we've got some cooking to do today
i'm pretty okay
kinda obsessed with goodnightmoonasmr, just posted a doctor roleplay, she is kinda unbelievably beautiful
i saw the 3 episodes of Digital Water Reviews by candace carrizales, HUNANPENGUIN.
she's pretty , awesome
she requested suggestions for digital water to review
i wanted to find a video to suggest, i looked at the gungan city scene in star wars episode 1, but there's not much digital water.
i watched some shenmue 3 videos, i don't think i will suggest anything
it's easy christmass
i'll make eggnog in a bit
and drink the rest of the rum
sleep early
no one else
text friend
eat . . .
watch tv, movies, internet, youtube
go outside
type words
think sing
it's not easy to understand what it is that makes me feel this way
it's hard to know why i think, feel or do anything
Hello, this morning derails like a railroad going 40 miles per hour. I sat on every chair in my house for long enough to die and roll out. I ate 4.25 biscuits made of wheat, ground up, from the floor, where my toes dwell, like denizens of dirt and flesh. However we show off our machines, like trains, and our dreams, like blue tye dye pants hanging from big trees at noon or midnight, the Sleep-Wake cycle and the River of Human Doings will justify the dimension of our dissolution... into youth untolerated and freedom infallible.
In the past 7 days, I watched 36 hours of healthy-ish bums living through a wire down to the hopeful minute, on top of their merry Park-Like mini-mountains, whith rich amenity-drenched gated neighborhoods, of the Future, themes and dissents and dissertations and the Endings of Mediocre media-units, limit of 5 hours per segment, one viewing session, one Title.
I am the past and the Present an' thee most ergonomic.
The Elfhame Country Club of West Westhurstshire
- watched The Holiday for the fifth time, today ( on this day )
You tryin ' to cheer me up for a change ?
I believed in a solid wake -
fulness, a brown moon earned
on your upper arm,
where deltoid meets bicep;
You kiss your shoulders, Dearest.
No one donates 200 dollars
to No Hungry Kids on Facebook.com.
This energetic misexchange
of valuing merchandising
missed the first last chance
We had to re-regulate
distasteful calculations,
Miss in her prime,
missing the baby in the Church
Mass at midnight.
This was it for now, Lovelee,
No one knew you knew them too.
Actually I don't know.
" so how you doing " basically
Meadow State Divulsion
No, yeah, it was really great to have you here.
Open your eyes just so you can stay along
Abigail
Concepción
David
Jesus
John
Lily
Magdalena
Mary
Michele
Phil
Sam, short for Samantha
Sara
Sofia
Sojourner
Will
a fun board and video game
Cast of Characters
- Joanna Sojourn. Age: 22. HP: 6. MP: 8. Special item: Gate Key, with which one may pass through a gate to another place or time, becoming another person.
- Terra Bïte. Age: 122? HP: 10. MP: 7. Special item: Gate Machine, with which one may create or alter a gate.
- Brian Company. Age: 21. HP: 5. MP: 6. Special item: Too long scarf, with which one may hide or trip someone.
- Doctor Cabinet. Age 89. HP: 1. MP: 9. Special item: Mysterious Cabinet, which when opened reveals something which will be useful to the opener in an as-yet-unknown way, within 28 days.
- Richard Phase. Age 50. HP: 8. MP: 5. Special item: Magnet that attracts the closest object of whichever material the user chooses, range of 6 miles.
- Xu Xu Byul. Age: 32. HP: 7. MP: 7. Special item: Radio station, which can interfere or override other radio signals.
- Adoba T. Peach. Age: 60. HP: 9. MP: 6. Special item: Necklaces and bracelets with rare gems, which distract and persuade people.
Sydney, Australia. 1950 A. D., August 28th, 7 pm
"I heard there was a super conductor that doesn't need to be measured in thousands of decibels," Joanna says toward Brian. Brian looks across the water at the occasional nautical activity, not really listening. Neither is Joanna, to herself. She wears a white sun dress and a wide blue wicker hat, even though winter is deep. Brian's scarf hangs to the ground, a dirty 2 inches. A weak sour breeze passes, he sort of grimaces reaches for her hand, and she, unaware, jumps up and gestures broadly.
"I could do more than 10 men! If only they gave me the tools and the time I need... I'm certain I can figure out these damn problems. I'll finish Book 1 today, then get 2 from the Library -- Automatic Intercycle Rhythm Restoration is simple really, or it is for me, now..." She trails off and Brian looks uncomfortably confused. He stands, seeming surely unsure, and says softly, "Realité -"
What's that supposed to mean? Joanna sojourns.
- An expansion to Eldritch Horror. When in Sydney in that game, you may use an action to enter this game, YMBAP.
I'll stab your rainbow wings into the slaver's back.
I wish you were a raygun, so I could get my shingle snack.
Burn down the docks. Cure the seagulls' cancer.
Our valley of ravens shall beget the long lost saviour.
The bells of the abandoned church ring out our children's ashes.
Stranger than a mystery,
My self doubt is history.
I show up in Hollywood;
Every person says I'm good.
[ audio recording from 2015, spurred by Comedy Bang Bang the podcast ]
Parallel Openness
Attitude French love dig
- a dig is an insult or a harsh critique
- to dig is to like a lot, to be really into like it's your thing
The Healing Room - comfort joy hope care love content hero bliss heaven forever realness reliability trust faith truth a s m r
boil sautee bake refrigerate
Shoes toilet shower sink towel underwear bed
House town river city forest plains game meat lettuce spinach beans eggs bones Library google fiber macbook best buy geek squad parking lots
Cars. Going to celebrate holidays driving around and looking at some family talking about the next week and last year and a year away, no one knows, but we will wear more clothes and not have to take it seriously and be careful to make a decision about how to get the best of our time and what we need to know, because it will help the whole process, - the solution of history, This Dissolving Cosmos, our eternal faces spread thin on the record of our intentions and earnest natural soul trajectories, towards meaning beyond life....
~ predictive
I'm delivering pizzas at 7:30.
-
It's 62 degrees, substantial cloud cover, a bluish grey, no dramatic sunrise, a steady brightening.
I get into my Hyundai sedan.
I live to the southwest of a city of one million. It's about an hour's drive on a good day.
I know about 55 of my neighbors by name.
Somewhere like Texas, California, Pennsylvania or a place one trillion light years away from Us.
[ We Have Amnesia Sometimes ]
-
I make them in my house. They are delicious and nutritious.
I wake at 3. I make a bowl of Quaker oatmeal and eat it with raisins and cream.
I do about 10 pizza recipes. 10 different toppings, besides cheese.
I got a big, red, insulated bag. Keeps the pizzas warm.
I got a big, red, insulated bag. Keeps the pizzas warm.
I got a big, red, insulated bag. Keeps the pizzas warm.
. . . . . . .
Straight-laced. 2/13
Ingenuity. 5/9
Anemone. 4/7
Oligopoly. 5/9
Academia. 5/8
Idiolalia. 7/9
Strength-trained
We drove back home.
The billboards lit the forest at night.
The history teacher followed, and the light was out of light.
I was getting so frustrated with my self and my life
I stabbed my homework paper with a toothbrush like a knife
[ originally recorded as audio. from ~2007, revised ]
Unassuming and periwinkle and sleep shade
Whey in the Hurtfield
Here in the Wheatfield
I don't know what you say
a hundred years a hundred years
a hundred years
Three minutes later the tree thyme realised you harvested the light dark from the yellow leaves up in the halo basket. Ten little leaves in the palm of your hand, the light dark seeped into the pores of your face. 13 light-years a light-second, the tree thyme thought through the wanders to take you over the lip of your light opera, you bumping your vision of the wing mottle to the bugle, H notes re-rehearsing, from the bottom of your head. Twenty-two feathers belied you between the fifth spaces of the tines of the tree thyme, who said, " the scent oils leak in the oxygen over West Virginia. Tommy soup dreamed the year-long book, who said, ' Tim will now join you. ' "
The grean shoots blew brown. The blinks of the ever-vanishing realness of the tree thyme swayed on the film surface, away to grape held horizon black and white cat the thinnest hair touched end to end the lonely One and the You belonging to the you here and now with us.
The End
You think you might learn.
i imagine a Hair, in a close up you see it there, floating still.
this end touches a rocky coast, like california or scotland or something. it is like a magical electrical wire over an ocean. it is maybe thousands of miles long.
it is dark but no one sees it until a few inches away.
it is perfectly strait like it is another dimension here.
it reaches toward the infinite eternal reality of One who knows better.
As far as you're aware, do you have any allergic reactions to the MRI contrast agent? It's gadolinium-based.
. . . .
So it looks like your doctor has ordered an MRI contrast agent, which means about halfway through the test, I'll take you out of the MRI, and just do a quick injection of the gadolinium agent. That should improve the contrast and clarity of the second set of images.
Are you on dialysis?
So that's it for questions.
...
So, again, what I'm giving you is called gadolinium. It's gadolinium-based. It's an MRI contrast agent, and it's just an injection. Sometimes we do it as an IV, but today we're just going to do yours as an injection, and what it does is increases the contrast and clarity of the next set of images we're doing.
. . . being in a people printer . . .
It's 15:04, Friday, November 20th, 2,020. I am practicing my hand-
writing. That 'w' is too close to the left edge of the page.
I just heard about movehumanityforward.com.
I'm not really practising my handwriting. I wanna do something healthy
and good. It's 15:11. - Where you gonna go? Convention center?,
the park by the freeway bridge?, your mom's House?
I listened to watched most of Adrianne Lenker Tiny Desk Home
Concert: I am little shivers on my skin, mental electricity, salt
water on my eyeballs; sailing from Texas to Hawai'i on a coffin,
I plant it vertically on a beach, open to the ocean.
I'm drinking Kentucky Tavern. Mom and I are getting Popeye's tonight. It's 15:43.
I don't know what else. 15:51, I've been watching H3 After Dark.
¬¬ it's 16:33 - I am writing more, drinking Sean's Irish cream, - that
I poured into a Kirkland irish country cream bottle, from costco.
- Sorry. I don't know. We may take a walk in our hood in a few
minutes. My mom wants to washe the dishes because they're
bothering her. " Chrome isn't responding " I closed it.
My tablet background is a white moose/elk. I saw it on a
home page, swedish hunters shot one.
The natives call it, Ghost/Spirit moose/elk.
I shot 3 arrows today. Mom and i set up a cardboard box
to shoot at, about 4 feet tall, i missed the first 2 and not
the 3rd. For thanks giving day, 2 brothers, Pat + Kit, + Lorena
and Bridges. For fun. Why, Who, How. ? The screens and
Faces
Breakfust came before us
We are snow life
Happen us now.
" I call it delicious spice " brawn poison water
GM Vaporwaves
How else
Blue morning
Make me read the sway of time blood before honest reduction gallivanting galaxies
Gals, non-bin Nidorans
I hope they interact harmoniously with each other
and unknowable energies
for the fabrics, funnily peacing
The Message of the Person , Omnipotently Actualising
Lez-Be-Franz
i listen to TEMPOREX
Open Letter kinda annoys me
the album Care is awesome
crazy he was only 16
my mom is leaving in about 30 minutes and will be back in about 6 or 7 hours
lunch with her bro and sis in austin and maintenance at the mazda dealership
living poor in a wild place with mostly mean people
- First Cow
elsewhere a lot of rape and murder
- The Nightingale
making tasty foods, making close good friends
getting better, feeling better
love a movie
love people
I am planning to do some dumb, selfish things after mom leaves
i wonder what i should do
i want to contact Eden East, seems like i should
i need money and to contribute to the health of humanity
i should call the i r s
i want to read more farm notes from essex farm and look at photos
kristin
god holy mother, noble causes, ingenious detective of the soul from Brooklyn and neighbors helping ourselves to the love and begging and foregiveness
that swallows our hope in the yellow bulging nude frog belly nocturnal nature human growth indoors holy hollow skin bone gracious grace humbling ink stained unconventionally un attractive, horses deer moose elk whiny engine motor home reset quiet alarm taste gravy black under european skies erasing killer tendencies typhoon unrest feelers beckon you open youth channels closest rights of green government diet and exercise purpose persons unconfounded and wholly all-one now and always in every possible mind to believe friends having giving thanks thank you and good night. I hope you sleep well. See ya tomorrow!
i want to go now to work on Essex Farm as long as I need to, to be a benefit and do the most good i can for the future of humans and Earth / Cosmos...
The End
To undo that which must be done
that is the mission of the Protector of Alsengeal
It's a wide valley. It's a stranger out of town.
It's a wide valley. It's a stranger out of town.
It's a wide valley. It's a stranger out of town.
It's a wide valley. It's a stranger out of town.
It's a wide valley. It's a stranger out of town.
It's a wide valley. It's a stranger out of town.
Live about 1 year in
New York City
L A / Cali
Midwest / Great Lakes / Minnesota / Wisconsin / Ohio / Chicago / Pennsylvania
Canada , maybe 2 years
Alaska
Hawai'i
Japan
China
India
Australia / New Zealand
Africa
Europe
Sweden
more than a year working on a farm
Total: about 15 years , maybe age 35 to 50
settle down wherever is best for me
The end
when i die
i hope i have done more good than not
the most good i could do , which is impossible to know , unless being one with eternity and some kind of omniscience is possible ,
i am certain that i could have done much better , ethically , spiritually , and still could be better
oh well
i'll figure something out
go somewhere
get somewhere
know people
to make good choices
to make life better for one thousand humans
for the last one thousand years.
Bizarres were Wonder Womans
portrait on the backs of the skies
create sinus reliefs
Not Really
not thinking about this
These People
are not inter esting
white columns
Come back napping in ferno
by beach house
are you still your self
have you changed at all
are you not the one who you
used to be
leave a lone
what you said you could
price less pay
for the world we are
push it on
when the now now becomes the how
language meets
all our selves have come to stay
come to mean
by the being shore
unconditioning we ask
are we not the same
where and why are we
?
by
be you layer
later
Tu are like a party where everything is worth it
every one is okay
What if
i r L
meat space
the Wild
You have encounted
you are always , have been , will be
A U
and arrange
an arrangement
wut u
are trying to mean
tryin ' 2 b
bless
conjugal verbs
always resisting
a restrainable 2 u
begin by relearning
keep up
and slow up
and show up
you are here
congrats and welcome
goodbye to now
hello eternal
a waiting
the You
by being your self
the every one self
the end .
be a rumbling walk
cars and pebbles 80 miles of asphalt plus the other millions of miles and cubic tonnes of raw earth materials for production and destruction
i dont want to think about thw words i want
it is free flowing and dirty aand gross
do you want to go To Be over there on the neat sterile grass patch among the greys, smallish part of cities, dying trees, not the Correct amount of water
With me, to sit or talk, Barthel said ' than to be with You '
Thank for letting me to be
Thank for giving the option and clear choice and Optimum bestness of the words and living the Correctness of the human dying body, making me better by being To be with the other choosers walking and sitting around the life of plants water air sunlight
a hospitable place
gotta get thirst
and a craven gut
gotta use telescopes and microscopes. gotta keep detailed records of empirical data
gotta analyze critically
Man lies on the path, probably born wrong
a corporation factory
gotta dance like liquid light, leaning nowhere
i am going to eat two halves
of everything bagels
all correct,
talk to you later
love ya, bye
yes
What do you feel, trying not to feel?
Belinda , psychiatric cardiac examination explanation
Belinder. Proper english
And that's excellent?
Very relaxing
8 hour flight
Attending
Ting ting
And water on a bed
Cellular chemical exchange, osmosis, traveling thru cell walls, membranes
Water weight
Plastic glass on the edge of the desk by the bed
wet saturated sinking dripping
sticky or cold
noodles or beef
ice, clouds
The sink water smells good
Faucet water, tap water
Tastes good
Feels Good
google cool greenhouse bandcamp
I don't know.
Who are you?
I don't know if I'm anyone.
What are you?
This.
Why are you?
I don't know if I have a choice... but Yes.
I might be because I have a choice.
A will. A self. Belonging to our mind. A grace. A gift. Thanks. You're welcome.
Good Bye
Yes
Sold
Lore
Gore
Gas
Sag
Solo
Boos
Lobs
Tans
Sand
Loses
East
Bolos
Ante
Roles
Toes
Best
Sea
Logs
Gel
Ah yes
word vomit
starter imagination
i walked on Cutting Horse yesterday eve and thought i want to make a book named Word Botching . i thought of a cover with a guy holding his hands like binoculars and a bird flying out of each eye , like song birds, robins or so.
i saw vultures on the light lamps on the old bridge into downtown and thought of my love of birds, for birds.
i like flying flighted birds. i like penguins more than ostriches
bird by byrd by anne lamott
starter pokemon , racoon , possum , i forgot the third , i saw a photo of the 3 together on facebook. rural america . American South
i also thought of a book by me called My Memories , Memoirs
my life by bill clinton
i thought of posting to facebook: memory is crazy , electrical chemical reactions in our brains / bodies , neurons or synaspes store info. Something triggers an impulse, images enter our mind, feelings in our bodies, sort of almost maybe What really happened and how. What we felt and thought, words emotions. I don't know. This is impossible to understand fully. Seems that we exist not only in the present moment
.com
our selves spread though all our imaginations and memories and
all the energy, space and time we influence and connect with
innovate itself
" Stacy Abrams " in a low pitch voice, like slow motion, starts a mostly intrumental song, mostly a short funky catchy simple lovely bass melody , long bending string notes, light drums
When I was queen of the island
if you are a name , then you just woke up
Dawn Rose Mahoney, 12 years old, March 1982, is alone at the beach house on Long Island.
The beach is big, clouds everywhere, some mist, some ice. Her coats are big, the windows are big, the neighbors are not close, her parents are in Manhattan.
She eats some frozen meals, watches TV, her parents call, some animals outside try to survive.
Her father comes in around 7 p.m. He leaves between first light and sunrise. Dawn often wakes then . . . stands facing east. Weekends her mother holds her.
One day infinite, alone again, except an infinite matter slow waves of Nature, one stray mutt in Babylon, frozen squirrel by a green dumpster at a closed county beach park eleven miles away, the muscle of a pig in the fridge, mussels floating on the low tide, the fake light coming, only just Dawn breathes heavy waiting the purpose and reënact, dozing news anchor, water trickles, four thousand, Or, safe, to the dark sky, (full life) in the body - perfect warm soft changes.
She wakes up. Red segments read 6:47. Quietly the front door closes and locks. An owl hoots for the last time.
Dawn sits cross-legged on the pale cold sand, 20 feet from the weathered walkway stairs and from the high tide wake receding. The sun sets in 20 minutes. The long trip home waits for the wavering voices of her parents.
. . . .
The waxing gibbous illuminates the blue darkness. Wet winters become warm springs, across the northern oceans, the widest continents of massive land, endless global horizons continually curving. Dawn breathes in for 5 seconds and out for 7.
. . .
Her mind rests and rejuvenates. Her hair stands on end.
The End
PS [ many moons later , 9-11-21 ]
13, the deepest Summer,
at the mahogany table
a deepness like red.
Their riches, their heirs, like molecules transfered in the consuming of the sea food... [ slurf song ]
The monstrous galaxy
The latte in her auburn hairs.
I have never really wanted to hate and interrogate anyone as much as
people who litter on the Beach.
. . . .
This is Our Earth Please
Fuck off with that shit.
Seagulls, morning birds, the monumental clouds cover the vain sun rising, ready for the storm.
- Saturdays, [11-10-21]
She lies on her back on tidy brown sand, little clumps, comfortable for her. She sleeps like a blanket.
The warming sunlight is coming in, coming in the East.
Trying harder . . .
Hermit crabs scale the deadly cliff of the wake pool beside her, skitter and fall and creep up, delicate technicolor fluorescent skeleton limbs. As deep as her neck plus her head, half-submarine, they all squint in shafts of yellow atmosphere. Elsewhere clocks keep to themselves, here the steady hums and hushes of more water than anything, but also with the Us ... will anyone know or care? - - Then seeing the readiness of Christmass, cold wind telling our skin, she is me now.
Softly rest the hairs, the honey, murmur the names, make safe the little life . . . .
Amen
Bye bye [-:
Monday, August 29, 2022
Hope Sand Dolor
This is the sequel prequel to Tide Pools. Hope is Dawn's mother, born January 3rd, 1939, a block from the sea in East New York.
On Hope's 44th bday, she looks through her daughter's desk, 14-year-old Dawn. On the first page of a black and white composition notebook begins a story about Dawn Sunday. She's touched by her daughter's imagination and empathy.
She tries too hard not to cry.
Starfish, Uncommon rarity, Dawn holds her right hand open face up. Hope holds her left hand, as if mother, as if friends. On the beach, perfect weather, warm clouds beckon the girls to be released, as gasses in the sky, in 2 to 5 minutes.
Infinite greys, bluster in the faces, safe alone together owning property generational comfort, affluenza deride debilitated, after a movie theater so many lost childhoods in one.
Action, to relieve humanitarian effort, Hope calls for them... and weak coffee water cooler slowly begins another weekend, hearting rental arrangements
Blowin implication set up to being convenient facts, engineered ecstasy, survives the societal obligation And She Finally breathes ....
Gregory at 6:42 PM ...
No comments:
Last updated 02:40, Monday, May 22, 2,023 a.d.
26, 04, 2,024
08:29 CST
Songs: Auburn and Ivory
and
Turtle Island
by Beach House
and Myth
from Bloom
_ _ _
The power of mind
The mind of love
We give God what
They need from us
Too many people at the pool
Children's Spa
The tiny pool is that amazing
Equals one times values and sales
Triple shank the size of the deal
I don't fuck
10 years ago, my younger friend, in the middle in between minds, softer afternoon light, kinda quiet neighbor hood, short thick loose cotton clothes, smooth tight brown buttock skin.
Two lips down a side street to the end of the road. Closed eyes, wind through our ears.
See a really big Apple
You want to be a nasal Farmer.
Suzanne rearranges your hands on the snow-white delivery
She bakes you enchiladas when her mother flies to Haiti
For hurricanes and earthquakes are bounding toward your Eskimo igloo
The night is tearing open as she slakes your wounded salty brain
Suzanne takes your down pillow and surprises your tango-fleeing relatives
She talks you down from deer-born misgiving, like a bowl of the Sun.
to be.
continue?
1 to 1
Still 1
Administration next of kin
Coco, brown orange black white of course nothing is absolute
What is changeless
Just 1
Which is a beautiful love ratio
We can go to the Circle C metro park disc golf course
We can cry like a lightning bug
We can lie about Austin. Del Valle. Garfield. Cedar Creek
Bastrop Smithville 71 Cedar Street
My friends' hair
Decks porches artificial light waning sun light thin slivers shivering bare arms
Dying tree leaves
Electricity
Indoors
A/C
Repair People
Technical College. Where and how would we be? What would we do without your careers cars trucks factories shops books and micro Science cosmos organizational Time Life Mind recognize Saint angel
Every Human Is a Cell Phone
School is brains swell, big data sweeps
Our life scraps on organ toast for human
Health span. Svedka, green Tea. Natural
Bliss, sweet cream. Love your cells and tissues
Atoms, quarks, dark energy, consciousness.
Everyday feeling evil spells
Good Meat, Aaron's Mind Soul Eternity
a book for remembering, Re-solving
Puzzle mystery, problems, helpful hints
I'm a shade, a tree of autumn de-lights
Tropospheres, toggling, a hairy sky dangle
Wafts in the blue breeze, toe child sheds
A Pop, Sleep Eyes, Greenwhite voices
Bounce on suburb walls a brick falls, full
Of our bodies, hum a loud hope, Sincere Silence.
a politician speech . . like a bad lip reading
If anyone is left, their fathers will be My friends. - No more old potatoes out in the static space. No brown haze. No grey white... I made monkey bread. My guns are stuck to the floor!
' Everything constant for a minute '
my love of God
C o u r r t n e y y , write it down in case you lose your teeth.
I forgot my husband wanted different strangers
Austin 2015
Los Angeles 1995
Queens 1975
Berlin 1955
D. C. 1935
Paris 1915
Florida 1515
London 1015
Athens 515 B. C.
Central Park 2222
Past, future,
Significance, connection,
Want, need,
Safety, comfort,
Now, Eternity
Time, Travel
Freedom, regret
Risk, acceptance
Will, power
Boat, bridge
Oceans, atmospheres
Surprise, delight
Play, tragicomedy
Practical profession, perfection
Grace glory love hope
Amen
Ashley stole my kitchen.
Water makes water makes.
I love a solid gas, such as A field across a farm Road , Who I Give a Friend
All of us
I cry again , making Human Plans , a Foreseen Light toward the Inside of our Thought and
Living mind of living trinity
Words , embody Understanding , the panoply
- ' we must live as we wonder why and how to live '
Hydrate , Nourish , Cultivate , Advocate meaningful Helpful
Neighbor , niece nephew brother sister mother grandmother spouse Friends
Children
Awake to the Necessity
Aubrey Light the Neck Ties
. . . .
No example, no evidence
No motive, just an attempt of motion spirals out a feeling chain of nutrient rich
And the second half puts forward Reason to cling to, Learning from behind. On top of oneself and one's first hand environment,
One will stand up for the meaning-making mind
To understand the anything, which is here and now
I don't feel well
Pop cap in the wheel well
Cat sat on a window sill
Look at my face, 80 degree A/C
Less than 80 years, homo sapiens death
childhood adult bank money paycheck house car phone weekly morning , same person on Earth still
life sleep beach sun screen wind sand clouds moon horizon water . . . my mom brothers and me
ghost of god . . . , faint memory TV dim light switch online redirect, the last effect rooting feeding cause
of our next breath
Epistemologically, eschatologically, I found the sound of the brown round Legal documents on fly paper.
We four lounge on the living room floor beside and against the sofas, late at night, after all, Alyssa singing her famous soung; we transport, close to sleep. Our acquaintance [ Devon ? ], standing, tells us he saw Lil' wayne in the guest bed room with the rapper Dynamite . . . " He's just so weird " . . . .
At Bastrop State Park, near the swimming pool, a pretty big grasshopper flew into my face, my left cheek, side of my nose. I waved my hand at it and made a little noise of surprise.
It was really nice. I'm happy that happened.
At the front door of the refectory, I almost stepped on a little brownish snake. It slithered to the entryway corner.
On Green Oaks Drive, I drove by a hawk on a fence to the right, about 15 feet away from the road. It turned to look at me as I passed.
At Morris Memorial Park, behind the graveyard, white, colorful ducks and petite painted turtles swam in the pond and sat on the shore.
The secluded well kept more wild and shaded area
light-soaked days
more light than heat
john green
a fifties futurist fairy-tale
Mid - Sentry , 20th of the Lord Jesus
I drove Mom and I thru Easton Park. Or myself. Or maybe also . . . just her
We were impressed.
Infinite Aloneness
Not an infinite amount of time being alone
Just at any point in time or beyond, an infinity of aloneness , or solitude ,
eternity of being alone
this is good though
this is how we exist
i know i am
you know you are
we are alone
the soul of one person
the souls of all other people
together
by God
Shave me . . . shave me
Days, open the door
Days, always more of them
Shave me . . . shave me
Days, what are they for ?
Days, always more of me .
it's too bad. i heard about you.
I'm pretending to die.
I am always a Really Good Guy.
i am familiar with the essences and hopes of Friendships
i exist thanks to the Essential Friends
why do They
become Their friends
all Our Own Friends
okay
that friend
be a friend
we are the best . . .
- GW
I am a sensitive bodily Christian Jew
I do not care about any life beyound mine
My life is taking over, dominating the Universe
I have infinite Love and an infinite curse
for the insensitive anuses sucking the life from my eternal soul
I finish the work of history
[ for the benefits of a great wonderful grand mother ~ ]
solve the mystery of Divine Humanity
swallow every sun
then fall asleep and never wake up . . . .
I am happy to be dreaming of the End of Everything
I wish I were There with Them, Doing Anything
A Mature Elephant Dolphin
Advancing to the 2nd Level
Advancing to a Second Limit
The Next Finity
I squeeze you for a new soul mission .
I am good to think I may be okay .
You can always be farthest away in time.
You can always be farthest away in space and time.
You can always be farthest away from space and time.
You can be furthest
You can always be
You are the one person
The other person is the farthest....
Then you.
From You.
You always go
away to the end
of time and space
.
This is a question
of logical choices
of metaphysical physics....
The you you are is
The mind of the We we are.
Everything Everywhere Always Now Everyone EveryWord
Yes.
I reach my hand inside myself -
I'm not me or anyone or anywhere.
I'm no angle or direction,
No shape or idea.
' Did the Fall happen yesterday? '
Semi de Coco
I feel an object. I exact the definition dimension, data-space-time. Can I do without a word? Am I before a word? Electronic re source. Light user. Animal reanimal. Grower, Liver. Neighbor, 40 years, 33 miles, 10 years, 2 days... She, he, they cross a street. One week schedule. 10 hours on a bed. Air-conditioned 2,000 square feet. Industrial bakeries, soup factories, 500 acre ranch. Feed Lot. Backyard Garden. AaronAndee's front yard. .... 6 books, 7,000 pages, 1 million words.
Speaking Friend
Listening Friend
Understanding Friend
David Lynch Theater
Weather
Meditate
Stay home and Work
Why bother with all that bad outside?
My mind changes
I try to think of what is good
Still what should I do?
Better
I relax
My sleep posture
Better pain
Comfort
Less distracting
More Eternal
I change my mind
I find an answer
The End . . . .
If there were only 2 people
and it's 1992.
I am special because
I am never more special than you.
If it made any more sense
We would be a tractor on the dreams of tomorrow.
-
Let's watch Defiance, Ohio
and weep over Ed Harris's head.
Is Ed Harris alive?
Let's make love at the video store.
- Twin Peaks - Surfer Blood
Alea Gott
- Teal bikini
- white and orange surf board
Marian
- orange top, teal skirt
- black and blue board
Clive
-
Franco
-
Xu
-
Got an old wooden sawhorse and two old satellite dishes
You think love is real.
it is a space holy ghosting
The Local Vestibule of Bicuspids
the instant the sky wakes my eyes are shut I’m listening to the rainfall huh
huh huh listening to half a lifetime of rainfall isn’t romantic
the sound of rainfall approaching unites with the sound of a solitary car
the car going away pushes the sound of rainfall away but maybe it’s not pushed
away so much as letting up
like someone’s existence maybe it’s not the person disappearing so much as
lightening
imagine raindrops hitting the ground umbrellas raincoats scenery soaked
one two three four five six construction sites of silent scaffolding cranes no
workers climbing up or down or all around
a shop owner figures umbrellas and raincoats will sell in weather like this
strange
light rain from the country falling on hard heads in the city
apricot blossoms in the light rain peeping through a window at a poetaster
sipping tea this is my image of Jiangnan
this is the Jiangnan of the scholarly landlord and the peasant in concert with
the maxim that houses of gold and jade-like faces are contained within
books
but are the Jiangnan of the small-business owner and the day laborer still
Jiangnan the capitalist’s Jiangnan
is definitely not Jiangnan since jade-like faces no longer seek shelter in books
why don’t the birds sing is it the morning’s fault or the birds’ fault
don’t they know I’m searching with ears of the blind
in Beijing the birds start singing at four a.m. but here what time do the birds
start singing this is a Shakespearean question
or else the birds have signed an agreement not to sing
Meng Haoran died about 1,300 years ago and for 1,300 years the little poem
he wrote about birds singing has lived in his stead
that’s a long time for an American but won’t impress an Egyptian
Meng Haoran was used to a life of sharp mountains and clear waters so we
can infer how sharp and clear he looked
but we can’t imagine how he could make a living as a poet without representing
advanced social productive forces
it wasn’t strange for him to get something off his chest from time to time
and tell it to the river
is this why he stood apart from the crowd how trading up on his grievances
he associated with Wang Wei and Li Bai
but Wang Wei and Li Bai never acknowledged each other when they were
both in Chang’an they looked down on each other
the river flows on night and day oh the river flows by my bedside oh this is too much
I’ll withdraw it
the river flows by the door of my hotel in Nanjing or Jinling or the ancient
capital of the Six Dynasties
is this a hotel or an inn or is this a guesthouse or is it a resort
to friends on the phone it’s a resort it’s an inn to me
what’s the difference the ancients only lived in inns and wrote poems on walls
but in the Republican era Fang Hongjian got a girl in bed only to find a dirty
ditty on the wall behind the pillow
written yesterday
girls girls though red lanterns are still raised over the river Qinhuai at night
there are no more seductress spirits just snack food
on a clean white bed lie four white pillows I use only two
body comfortable erection comfortable I’m in my yesterday not in my day
before I’m not in
in the symmetrical room in the mirror is another me are you the me I’m
symmetrical with
the red light in the left lower corner of the black TV screen is on to show the
power is on like the Young Pioneers showing they’re ready at any minute
use me
a press on the remote control and it’s the world of media
I open an eye and then shut it
who will die today whose nude photos released which factory explode
which police department will commit brutality today which bridge collapse
which politician detained
at 7:20 I hear the birds singing that’s incredibly late am I in some deep ravine
in the split sense of reality in my mind the birds started singing hours ago
I’ve never told anyone that the birds in my mind come from Jingting Mountain
not far from here
Li Bai saw the birds on Jingting Mountain all fly away but never learned
where those birds went they flew into my mind and won’t stop chirping
they’ve divided into sixteen competing camps and decided to hash it out in
my mind
hashing it out they have no idea they’re singing for the rising sun
while the birds singing outside do their best to satisfy Meng Haoran’s
eavesdropping
as if the world outside the window weren’t the real world only the world
where accidents happen is the real world
a world where accidents don’t happen can’t convince people of its reality like
Baudrillard’s simulacrum can be unsure sometimes
so someone who jumped off a roof was caught by someone on the street
stretching his arms
the one who stretched his arms to save him was crushed into paraplegia the
townspeople were so moved by the appeals in the newspaper they
donated money and goods
and the one who’d been saved refused to make a donation the turmoil in his
mind the night before he jumped
and the shocked parents of the one who was saved thought there’d be calm
and peace in the world
sounds of people in the hallway the bacteria in the carpet eat up all the sounds of footsteps
at 7:25
the residue of a dream
Xia said the water in the pool was too cold so she got out put on a shirt and
went back in
the manager told her to get out he said you can’t wear shirts in the pool if
you’re cold you’ll have to put on three swimsuits
at 7:27
the residue of a dream
Feng hears someone knocking at the door asks who is it on the other side
someone says in a husky voice it’s me well good guy or bad guy
Feng asks what is it and on the other side someone says in a husky voice I’m
not sure
is a dream the past
if a dream isn’t the past why does the past try to keep up with dreams
I hear a toilet flush I’m alive others are alive too
the water-treatment plant in the vicinity of the Yangtze might make a
difference of thirty percent
but to piss directly into the Yangtze I won’t do that like Mencius ate meat
but kept clear of the kitchen
it’s a little hypocritical it’s the hypocrisy necessary for civilized behavior
if I can lie in bed looking at the Yangtze I will hypocritically and happily give
thanks to both legal life and illegal life
outside the inn at night there must be Chinese sturgeons swimming by in
the Yangtze but what kind of fish is this
such a grand name such a mundane name who conferred it is it an endangered
species
why isn’t the giant panda called the Chinese bear
the sand barges on the Yangtze ride low in the water paint blotchy not a
single boat is new
the women baring their breasts to the water at stern and bow all women’s
women not a single one ugly
Du Shiniang threw her treasure chest into the water
of all the pretty flowers on the banks not one blooms because of this of all
the cheery lanterns not one goes out because of it
thus eastward do the torrents of the river flow
last year I took a trip here and gazed at the river from the Yuejiang Tower it’s
reconstructed all wrong
I pretended I was the painter Gong Xian gazing at the openness of the river
I tried to pretend I was the poet Gao Qi ascending Rain-Flower Terrace to see
the river emerge from ten thousand peaks but I couldn’t get it right
the Yangtze changed its course from Rain-Flower Terrace you can’t see the river as it was in the Ming dynasty
from my bed I can’t see the river either which means I’m not Emperor
Kangxi I can’t see all under heaven
I can’t see the teeming multitudes in Guangzhou I can’t see the teeming
multitudes in Chongqing
I may as well accept my fate as an ordinary man at least I have nothing to do
with the plight of the empire
reading the paper reading online news worrying about everything under
heaven it doesn’t do shit read short stories instead
my grammar-school teachers my high school teachers they ruined me for life
they trained me to be an observer
an observing peach or plum tree doesn’t even need to blossom
the paulownia trees in the city have been felled the property developers have
friends in city government
if I were the next mayor I’d have all the Republican-era paulownias replanted
back where they were but this is impossible
so I don’t make that kind of friends
I don’t drink my dad doesn’t drink my grandpa didn’t drink
so I can easily open my eyes at 7:30 my bleary brain just lets in the light
I look at the ceiling obviously in luxurious European style but it’s made of plaster
who gives a shit about mountains of plaster wealth so lofty it’s scary
who gives a shit about the three beef patties that fell on my head yesterday
who gives a shit about a modicum of fame
accomplishment comes too easily for engineers accomplishment comes too
easily for masters of arts and crafts
who gives a shit about liking to pretend not to be so vulgar it’s vulgar who
gives a shit about average talent but even that isn’t easy
but who gives a shit
power and influence were of supreme importance to Han Feizi but Zhuangzi didn’t give a shit about them
my brain is wide awake buzzing for my soul to wake up
which is greater that which can be understood in history or that which
cannot be understood
how can refined taste be propagated in a crass age
propagating refined taste means propagating the seeds of the collapse of the
country take the Northern Song dynasty for example the new tycoons
aren’t buying it
ugh the discontent you can’t speak freely and the complaints you won’t make
out loud
I should get up and shower bedhead makes people think you have nightmares
every night but that’s not the case
I should lose some weight my teeth need brushing I have bad breath when
I get up
Han Yu wrote a poem about losing his teeth it must have been before he
turned fifty
at 7:35 who wound me up like a watch to make me take such good care of myself
last night I flipped every switch I couldn’t figure out how to turn off one
light so I left it on until now
sounds from last night’s banquet still linger
two men hugging each other they drank so much two tongues fattened
by alcohol
one said I just went to Frankfurt look at my bag the other said I just went to
Paris look at my shoes
they were talking about package tours to Europe man see ten countries in
nine days
Confucius traveled through the central states if he’d kept that pace there’d
have been no degeneration of the rites under heaven 2,500 years ago
but running through Europe just proves there’s nothing to see there
or else proves they come from a lately developed country it’s not easy for
them to relax
but it’s nothing like spending time in Jiangnan and watching the river flow
from different angles
when Emperor Kangxi came it must have been a real campaign
it’s almost Dragon Boat Festival
Dragon Boat Festival doesn’t mean anything in any country it only means
something in Jiangnan and Jiangnan is this area beneath my bed
it was the kingdom of Wu but was it also the kingdom of Chu
I have friends from Chu I have no friends from Wu I do have some friends
from Jiangnan but right now I’m on my own
how far into the distance stretch the roads inn after inn along this road
reduplicating themselves to the end of the sky
I toss off the blanket slide my feet into two paper slippers
a deep breath
and I stand up
—Translated from the Chinese by Lucas Klein
If you enjoyed this poem, why not read …
