how is life possible?

I want to be a single cell for a small life time.

I wanted to type / write something about " eternal Eternity "

I want to live one milliion life times.

That is all.

I want to be every living thing, once.

I want to be stars and planets.

I want to be black and worm holes.

I want to be all matters and energies and darks thereof.

Somethink like that. Like a Free Write, Open mind journal entry.

I will drive to or / and from Austin, Texas beginning in less than one hour. Tom and/or Christina P are probably in or around Austin, today.

Driving around a lot of other hundreds of cars and vehicles is uncomfortable and hurtful, stressful, painful to peace and Mind... ya know.

I want to watch Dodger, brooke thorne, play a nice video game.

We, my mom and i, will try to eat at Habana

we saw Chet Garner visit them and eat there.

The End, of today

Aaron sent me a Caleb Landry Jones interview about Gadzooks, vol 1

I heard a bit, never wet and beginning of Yesterday Will Come

it's pretty good.

i  don't know

i must reply to aaron soon

i'll say, Cool, he's pretty good, thanks. Or close to that.

Later, i loev rain

bye.

You took the sun down to Oscar town.

He waddled to the orchard where he ate his son.

He waddled to the water where he lost his Oscar.

In the water, between and beyond Orchard town,

Car-michael is watching , you know hi es , and who.

. . . .

  Slow breathing

Slow heart beating

Breath   Squad

 Ioga   Corpses

Rainbow gone.

                            For 10 minutes . . .

Early Evening, a storm blowing in

Two YouTube shorts, streams of consciousnesses

Say the feeling                [ see the ceiling ]

it's over

at the bookstore

I'm a candle in the pentry      [ pantry ]

but my head is not under her soul

My cancer is like hers, but it's overjoyed.

Rhyme scheme

Dolfins on the Moon

I feel a zoomer calling in          [ a cappuccino k-cup screams ]

to my face right now,

but he was mistaken, cause the lightning

was a bottle in the signpost.

https://youtu.be/_jJYyL7VJ9g?t=3665

https://youtu.be/6wJqzwBt16s

A Stream of Consciousness Poem

Look I said beans Walla Walla Washington.

First steps: Build a wall for Frank and Sue,

because they leave soon, and losers waste

their cousin-friends. : hopping on their left feet,

Drunk rearranging their tyre gyroscopes, fleet

porn mushy tiger milk the mountain.

Tiber phlows thru the Khyber

on the dark letters on the beige 50th page

of the 100 page hardback wriitten by the

imaginations of lost male minds, I SCREAM,

the black forest cogently explains

I appreciate the eloquence, but perforated

Lines make it hurt

all but not Lonely, u forsake the young hot

No-one really said they want to

I already remember the last One

You Mess the Time, It Says Okay.

https://youtu.be/K-EtSl74MeA?t=1854

Some times the girl would be an hourglass,

an actual hourglass

full of sand and time.

Some times the boy would be a sundial,

a dial on the sun,

You can turn down the heat, up the light.

Some times the world would be a suitcase,

full of water and dirt,

No one there to tell us why or where.

An working portrait

 Unworking toward a non goal

a flower buried under thriving summer vegetable plants 

Doesn't matter which name nor species.

A black center

A red hole crunches my face skull

Thinking hard. . . .

Some time  you won't find us again

He was a good Son to us

We was pulled out to some time away

frere werite

 

o hi

My name is Greg. The moon was too ful. I doomed the life of the giant young human death qualms

Hey, why did i not yell out at the Hellish justice that all these stupid men and people do for every person on Borders with death on horses and death for the youngest

and youngish, brothers, sisters, siblings

the really old child, I am alone, lonely, lovely and loving

our stupid lives

but they never choose

and the really Horrific moments and hours and years :

they just cannot remember or escape the eternal Reality

on instagram and facebook . ---

Aaron sent me texts and I him

We heard the talking and saw the brutality and banality and evil

We forgot every Love

Do I need a person in side me?

I need real Food

I want to work for the Wild Mind.

Bye Now,

by now.

We are working it out, by communicating

and communing....

i drank a few cucumber vodkas with mountain dew major melon zero sugar

If i don ' t

 Saddle up the big cow

David lynch reflects on Himself : Art

reflections in moving water

blue skies

throughout the silvery mind , a space to think the best ways

think your ways out

of the 6 sides

boxes' edges and corners jabbing our , his , your sof T issues

grabbing yourself life is a joke

If You can    Be

Anything else.

Half Human Ag ,  half wild

of Kristin Kimball's Farm Note ,  September 17th, 2021 ,  week thirty seven

i have not read but one line

Shells, South Padre Island

 

 Bloody Blessed Messy African Girlfriend 

Hat Catcher

Hey, Hat Catcher. 

She made the Moon what it was.

She ate the sun because it was.

Oh Hat Catcher,   running south on the sand ,

She is lanky and brown. 

Her smile is an open evening gown.

                         Stuck

You can be a Washington monument

If this is spring, then it's also fall.

When winter comes, then I love you all. 

I became a saint, when my soul was sold. 

Wrote When Then Was Then, then got too old.

If you rain, you betta be a heavy rain. 

Polite Black Society

How about a little privacy?.. for yourself. 

Purpose-built Eternity . . . .

Hay Free

 Write you're Fairy heart till sing

Blood the force kin to swallow 

And tipe the reel phony lung batter

a schwester to make rice and toss

Saliva thru a bone Salvage

Pervasive Time

   Mysteries, O. K.

The Fae

Will bind

Open your

Mendeleave           ( coco    nut     Rhum )

The Tornado 

of Wild Senses

between human times.

Yhttps://youtu.be/6e6Hj7MwWaI

I used to think I was real

Now I know. 

Rain and Hail. [ not really hail ] 

A windy hurricane

Crystal Castles

Tropical depression on south father island 

We lost power.

It went out.

I should save my battery life

Black out at the beach condominium 

It's back now.

Bybee.

 

I know,

it's hard, 

but the meaningless

persist.

The Far Arm

 

like a farm 

an 80 pound brown dog , part pit

a puffy beige upholstered chair

dirt filled driveways

black and white goats

2 hours to Montreal

wet winter weather

shiny black rubber boots

4 year old eyeballs

new pink tee shirt

880 tons of organic corn

heir looms

loose cotton pants

light blue air

dead rotting racoons

spring breath

butter tongues

aging laughs

The End

some thing like that

Fourth Time at Zen Well, Then . . .

A lady sits down.

A normal person frowns.

A soldier wipes his bloody brow.

A nocturnal fish

bleeds his last wish

out of the cosmic dish.

A Sunday driver quits

A song on the precipice

 . . . .

The universe is made of milk and coffee. This is why they call it Cosmic Latte.

me in the hot tub looking at stars and sky

 

Lone Pine Village

 

 Legal Groceries

Lone Pine is 4 to 5 feet in diameter and 111 feet tall and almost 500 years old.

The village grew up with the tree.

The closest pine is 100 miles away.

20 feet to west is Atahow House.

Eldridge Atahow is a character in my novel Anti-Continent.

She is the 11th generation to live in Atahow House.

It is in the central western area of a mysterious land called Tejas.

From my blog "goodenoughtoknow older greg blog" - I like it a lot.

 

It is Tuesday. The day after Labor Day. I drank a lot of vodka. It is 2:08 p.m. I drank about a mug full, maybe 4 ounces or 4 shots. It is much too much. I wanted to call Donna Rich, psychotherapist, and tell her that I am very unhealthy. I am not sleeping enough and drinking too much alcohol. I am stuck with my mom and Hank the dog, by my own choices. I don't know what I should do. I should work for some green engineering firm or hospital or emergency responders. Maybe I would fail horribly, but maybe I should try....

My temporary library job ended about 6 weeks ago. I should have been doing something good, doing some good. I gave blood. Maybe I will work there again soon. Then leave again soon.

We plan to go to the United Kingdom in 6 months.

Maybe I should farm. I should call Lorig from Middle Ground Farm in Bastrop again and leave another voice mail.

This alcohol is only okay enough in that it seems to help me type this and think through my problems.

I just put on the  Essential Miles Davis. He makes me sad, with the heroin addiction, I think. Coltrane makes me happy though. Listening to him feels very important, with the Love and the Trinity.

I spent too much of everything on Magic: the Gathering. I thought AFR (DnD) was very fun, the most flavorful. Anyway, Kit, Pat and I played for almost 8 hours two days ago, on Sundy which is my fun version of 'Sunday'.

I like Major Melon Mountain Dew. It is neon pink. It is mixed with vodka, Northern Peak. Most vodkas are bottled in Princeton, Minnesota....

I learned from Craig Benzine that people in Wisconsin drink a lot more alcohol than the average United States of American.

I love Craig, even if his videos are too silly and ADHDed.

I love John Green even if he is too OCDed and sad.

I am burning a lavender and sandalwood incense by Gonesh Sticks, bought from the Elgin HEB, called Relax. It smells very smoky.

I feel the vodka in my feet. It is like a slow mild orgasm.

I worry of feeling nauseous and my head aching and fatigue-- but that is what Mountain Dew is for.

I may crash. I may hang over.

I must Wait.

I began this more like a normal journal, but my attention is not well.

I plan to play around with more MTG online. I created a few more cards yesterday and today.

These are very many sentences beginning with I.

I wonder why I write like this, my inner voice, something formal, proper and correct. Something better than Who i think is me 

I want to eat more.

My neck is fucked.

My spine is tricky.

Posture suffers.

Always.

My mother and I are driving to South Padre Island in less than 5 days, with no dog. I am very happy about things.

I often wonder if I will be in an intimate relationship with someone. Ever. What will that person be like.

Look like. Act like. Their or her history. Their Mind and future and our dynamic.

I think of Las Vegas a lot. It is a fantasy land. It is so far removed from Nature. It is people eating themselves and fucking themselves, in every way possible.

I like this journal entry.

I am nervous about volunteering again at the Bastrop Public Library. It has been 3 weeks.

Oh well.

Do something else now

bye i love you

- Gregory Wredberg  ,   the first.

PS. 

I am making a deck on tappedout.net called Everyday Life, full of things from our world, like dogs, cats, a cow, a machete, murder and a pie. I like this a lot. 

I chopped the grass over the dogs' graves with a rusty machete...

It was fun.

<3

We watched the Bonus Features of Keeping Faith series 3. There are a lot and they're really good.

<3

Thanks, You.

Totally an Impression of Our Daily Natural Reality

 ... curious George the movie on HBO at 11:45 a.m.

The Earth Gods, pages 8 - 13

 

from the Smithville, Texas public library

they were not accepting wolunteers . . . .

 In the slow musing voice of Marylin Whirlwind: 

"

He has nice legs.

"

A consolation

" Space " by Sofie

 

Mother Father

 

You mother of a father ,

You grandmother of a grandfather  ,  ,

I give you the Doubt of Benefits.

Actual Thoughts

 

The sooner I leave, the sooner I can stay drunk.

I want Alex to cancel the hangout today, grilling on labor day.

If not then I want him to not text me.

Or I can cancel for me.

I thought I was going to cancel then tell my mom i was going to alex, then go buy whiskey and drink in the car... then come home later and hide the bottle from my mom.

We were doing morning yoga on Monday morning. I saw the dog bed and remembered Pat saying it's still too small. I thought of telling mom that he said that.

But why would i make her feel bad about that? 

Then i thot about thots. Is it good to always ask, how will what i thought of saying affect my audience?

I relfect on thoughts as if i am hearing them from Some One Else. maybe i am.

I like " relfect "

and   ' refelct '

i think  i form a thought - or A thought forms - in me - ? -

it is made of images and re-presentations of Mind .

Then  it becomes a sentence , more of the same , different Forms. I process through language. Just English.

the sentence is short, not much more than 10 words, or less.

 One or many thoughts and one or many sentences.   . . .

It feels so much better to always tell the truth

and to never lie.

I texted Alex that I'll take a rain czech on today . . . .

Then I told mom The Truth.

Then   ' it '  began to rain.

I am staying home.

It is OKay,

except that i kept and keep drinking vodka

more than i want my mom to be aware of.

I finished the Italian Lemaon Soada ....

The End.

From Feel Free

 

and Edward Gorey's shuffled story

A Pre-Dawn Walk

Electricity flows

from wires and poles

and burns gasses

in the airs around us

between our houses.

Writing walls

probably fixes abilities to

Writing walls probably

fixes abilities to.

o

Writing the insides of minds

Can be correctly

Can love correctly                    [ <  thanks Rrainnyy Dazze ]

                                        

200,000,000

 how many I suspect I would love

I guess out of twenty. I have often noticed I almost always notice (looking around, whatever) more than one who I am attracted to, in the most serious ways... what ever that means  -

Now Maths

There are about 4 alive on Earth. 

Divide by 10  is 4 ,   and by 2,

 that's 200,000,000.

And that is People. 

Especially to be seriously ,  to....

Purple Bong in Yellow Light

 

. . . It was my step-dad Terry's .

. . Such a smile . . Honest Smile

 

{  fastasmr  first

and Ozley

and Behind the Moons 

}

 I hallucinate

My mom calling out my name

From across the house at least

Once in my cycle of being

Half asleep and half awake.

Friend Tomorrow

Would you be my friend tomorrow,

if I die today?

Would you be my friend forever,

if I die today?

Would you be my friend together,

if I die today?

[ sang and recorded circa 2,015 a.d. ]

Thee Middle

If it is a choice from the beginning, is it a choice,

and there is no end,

and there is no ending,

and there is no end,

if it is the beginning of a choice,

then why is there anything in the middle,

why is anything in thee middle?

 I love

, just after sun set

, to imagine it is

just before sun rise

.

alternate lyrics to I Am the Cosmos

I really wanna fight the world .

I really might have a girl .

I'm really just like you are ,

I'm really just a superstar .

The crime of being open

The crime of healing yourself

i really wanna feel you again

i really wanna be you again

 

America's   Respite

Spite of the Citizens

O Me of Little Faith

I failed the Aria Depression Research Study Qualification Questions .  ?

 O Lonergan's 

A Fan and a Star

 i see a 5 bladed ceiling fan creak towards a stop and think of Patrick Star hanging above the foot of my bed

To Cry, to cry

The World is Not Night

To be in doubt

To sleep is to wake

beat a beatle

Live to be within and without

i was exploring the Mercurial World website ,  the middle of this night .

Magdalena Bay . ,  it is kind of fun 

i imagine it was all the idea of Mica  [ i heard matt pronounce  'mee-ca'  on instagram ]

magdalena is one of my 10 favourite names.

i clicked on the secrets your fire video yesterday  ,  it is catchy

she is very cute

25 years old , florida , Los Angeles

Live like an aging Human Person

now is too late

i came to Auddfleur

i wonder why i did not fall back to sleep

listened to asmr ,  gibi

it is 4 something 20 something A. M.

it is fun some thing

i hope to sleep a couple more hours

there is a webpage from magdalena bay , What do you wish to know? submit a question

i typed:

Wish the Truth.

Know the Everyone

What is your 50year Plan  ?

-

i subscribed to The Healing Word ASMR

and listened to Dee's Testimony for a bit

she is a prodigal son

but she was too interesting for me to fall asleep to.

So i put on the healing Room ,  night nurse

'  Built like a hydrogen  Bomb - '  soft B

i skimmed thru the gospel of john

looking for the passage that aaron wrote on their whiteboard

but i cannot remember almost all of it ,  but he wrote ' she ' and maybe 'her '

which i think was his idea , and he may have translated other parts differently.

i loved a lot of thewords i read , lying on my bed ,  the godwords , and Jesus said and He left ....

i wondered how to ask him what he wrote

Tim heidecker said that Dynasty Typewriter was the worst name for a venue.

I think a good name might be The Stage Left .