Thursday, May 24, 2012

Words for Today


I was sleeping. I wanted to sleep more. I sent an email to the Erwin Center saying I was sick and not going to work. I thought of lying to mom and asking her to tell Buzz i was unwell and not going to work.
I dreamed of Andrea. She had a twin who was slightly younger and less attractive, but i was interested in her and i could see myself with her, maybe she'd be more accepting of me than andrea. I was alone on a sidewalk. A van pulled up. A woman like my poetry professor was driving. She was exuberant. Andy and some other girls were riding. I got in and we were going to some fair or festival. it was night. she was driving crazily. I held andrea's hand i held it with both hands. i put her nail on my teeth. I said I was sorry i got saliva on her finger. she seemed uninterested and irritated. I don't think either of us understood. I put my head on her belly it was soft. I guess i was going to sleep, I told her this was good, being on her, i don't know if she cared.

I just listened to While You were sleeping. So I don't think I should be at work. I think being mentally anguished by the fact of having to work is just as reasonable a reason for taking a day off as being physically sick is. I just watched five or so episodes of futurama. I am still kind of anguished about work and not working.

I am very anguished about andrea, and the past. and the future. Being a child. Being at home. Being lovely being loved. Loving... having a hard time of it. Being conflicted. being horny. being lonely. being distracted.

time does not matter, it is not real, it only matters what we do

I am at the beach. beach the I am at. That is that is that is that is that. What will I scary be afraid of..... What is that I am

I see a cup. I change the future. I dance like a mongoose. The killer of certain birds. The hungry pigeon. The waste coat in a darling park.

Sparkling. Earring earner. The concern for a worldly apparition. the black inner self.

The dear bear. Alive with all of life's suspicions and altruisms

supple parsnip bean attractive plop

sum  poinciana  timmy  rustle  refraction

son   does   eagle   feathery   ships



the end of the words for today             1+1=<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3