Confess

   i am obsessed with J K , km's daughter

she is lovely

on their instagrams

i am afraid of her . . . ,  [number] i think...  i worry about myself

i worry i will keep getting worse

like a cliche , a dirty sad old man , but man seems too good a word

So, what should I do.

maybe I need a girl friend, lady friend, special friend, wife , spouse , partner . . .

I imagine every so often

I imagine renting a mountain cabin near vegas

A prostitute is my best bet

prostitutes need love too

i would love to marry one, even as she keeps working

it makes me horny too...

this is very confessional

i want a book to be printed. Like saint Augustine's Confessions ,  written by me , about me

my self... soul, relationship with jesus and the trinity

i feel that i could not feel this any more, any deeper

this connection

to myself.

It is like Pain. But also Heaven, and sometimes Hell. Like Perfect Absolute Divine Judgment

I feel light. Like caffeine

I forgot that i took an excedrin

Then I drank half a cuppa

coffee.

I really like myself.

Sometimes i hate myself more than anything

i think i am like Steppenwolf

Self- obsessed   bourgeoisie

Resource Leech

Tick

Sponge

Parasite

Infection

Death - Collector

Hell - Baby

What is the worst case Scenario

How do i help people

The most people i can help ?

I wanna publish this, except censor the damning first confession ... 

Later I love you.