My story

What will I do on Saturday. Complete stupid isolation. Writing a story. Developing a interactive adventure. Expanding the minds of useless fart hounds like myself. That is me. Getting a worthless job to live in a place where I contribute less that the average 8 year old American. Wanting to burn down the sky. Wanting to run away and live with simple people. Wanting a woman who loves me unconditionally. Wanting an easy existence.

My blood feels sticky. My muscles feel like they're fighting themselves. My penis wants to separate from my body. I have devilish dreams. I want to slap my loved ones on the face. Hard. I want to break limestone bricks on my hand. I am listening to the DO... Oh. I want to whittle away. I want to bake myself. I want to make a grand beautiful meal out of myself and feed a large community for a year. Then I want them to build a school and name it after me. Then I want to make it rain when things gets thirsty for 5000 years.
I want to make a thousand dollars a week for doing whatever I want to do. I want to have a dance party with Kit in his house. Then I want us to install an in-ground pool in his back yard in one night then have an underwater light show and dance party, then someone drowns and we all cry buckets at the funeral and it rains and we write an awesome book that everyone reads.

-A few hours gap here-

I must be someone else. I cannot do what I do if I am me. I do what this body is. There is a soul in this body. I am responsible for the well being and future of this body. My soul is lost. It is travelling thru this body. There is a consciousness in this body. Sometimes it is separate from the body, sometimes the soul leaves this body, the body is alone and acts out against this soul. The consciousness puts what the body senses into words and order. The soul tries to tell the consciousness the right thing to do. Living in New York, I would work at a soup kitchen. I would be Flynn's son, Paul Dano. I would be brave and honest.

Mom, Tim, Pat and I saw Lone Ranger. I like the subject of the old west. I hate the formula for jokes that is everywhere today. It's all about awkwardness. The funniest part was Tonto stepping off the ladder then it shattering on the tree. Nevermind... I didn't enjoy most of the movie. I shouldn't have seen it, but I am lost. I had a small crisis in the shower. I was nervous about the job interview. And I was still upset about the gross mutant babies shitting blood and being fingered hospital apocalyptic dream I had. I thought how it might help me try to prevent the world from becoming hell. There are hellish places, situations on Earth right now, so I should do something. Working at this disc golf warehouse does not seem like enough. Then I resigned to waste my life, because it is too dificult to change the world I guess. I am not capable.

I have to try to tell Stacy. I have not shaved my unibrow in a while. It is sort of a test for people to see if they care or think I need to shave it because that is normal and acceptable. It makes me a little self conscious. I wonder if someone will say anything. It is fun for me. Frieda Kahlo. How much of my time should be spent trying to look good?

This Must be the Place was good. It made me feel, almost cry, laugh loudly. It was a lot like Everything Is Illuminated. That one had a more serious core and the passing moments were lighter. This must be the place had a lighter core, but the filler, in-between content was more serious, like him saying People say My life will be that until a certain age then they say That's life.

What is the real story, The beginning the end where you are what you affect. It's all so vague. So killing me. I am between myself and everything. Such a huge menacing gap. I have to fill my car's tires with air.

I am not letting myself be myself. How can I not be myself? Huckabees, i guess. Pleasant meadows, struggling young affluents. Sour souls. Rotting flesh, wet forest, bloody green stump, Stump the Whiz. There is good and bad in me. I have to let the good out and control the bad. That is what everything is. Everything we are. Shameless H Macy, Mad John Ham

I am a reference to a popular night show. I am living on a mountain in a desert. I ate too mmuch ice cream, I thought it was snow, I am a moose I have too much hair. I own too much. Most people cant wipe thier butts properly. Sickness is the most popular disease. Bye bye blue fin... taste... moken... tuse... tope... lomma... crepe... leef... sohm... be agye gye... bugga fi